they no i dont belong

[jonathan]

I sit alone all by my self and think for along time y am i still hear tha ones aroud me can feel im not like then apart of them hate me even tha ones i grow up whit do! its like im tha black sheep but really im tha white sheep they do me rong in many ways one day they like me tha next day they dont wn i waz yonnger i trd runig away but what waz tha uses of doing that when i had no wear els 2 go so i allways end up back wear i waz i cryd alot and brock many things my anger all ways got tha best of me but i made friends and that help me out a lil in til they felt what others felt inside of me then they trn ther back on me onley a few still or whit me but they jus dont understand me so thats jus not a nuff 4 me i wanted 2 find my own kind but will they take me in cuz im a new breed and u would feel it if u ever meet me see something hapened 2 me i really cant say rite now but it changed me in side im bater then i waz befor i dont no much about me as i want 2 thats y i come 2 my own kind 2 help me understand more about me yes ther is more of my life that i could tell but that would take 4 ever and i dont have that kind of time so.....if u read this and u feel we got somthing in come n and think u kan kelp me some then get at me and if u wana be friends u alrady no what 2 do

[Deacon Gray]

Hello Jon,

I don't know how many times I have felt betrayed by the ones I thought were going to be there to support me. Hell I went to Afghanistan and the House I was in pretty much shit on me, ( so I thought) my friends all but ignored me, I felt so alone and sad sometimes...they call it dispair, but it was worse some days.

Now I am on my second deployment, this time I went with out my home unit, and with out knowing anyone. This time the people in my life are more supportive, but what really made the difference was me. I was more out going, I made more of an effort, and ... I hid a lot of the down days, the sad moments from people because I realized it didn'd help.

People want to help their friends, they want to be there for them, but it isn't easy when they are far away, hell even when they are close by. Life gets in the way.

Today I am more careful about who I call a friend, but I also embrace my friends as Their Friend. I am there for them too, I don't share everything, because people just cannot deal with all my emotions and their own at the same time...its not just me.

I don't have any advise for you. I can only say that people will accept a lot, but if you remember to put them high on your own list of cares, they tend to return it a lot more.

Deacon

[Riann]

I am sorry that its been so hard for you. It hurts my heart to know this about you. but here i am sure you will find many that will help you. If you want to talk message me and i'll respond.